Stellaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Why do the people I work with insist on placing food at their desks for their colleagues to nosh all day long? And I'm not talking about just the typical candy dish. No, these folks do it UP: Chips, dips, cookies, casseroles, cakes, brownies, powdered donuts and more cookies. Do they think I don't get enough food at home? Do I look malnourished? Do I appear so underpaid that I can't afford my own snacks from one of the five restaurants downstairs? I think not.

So why all the food? I have a cynical, but likely reason: passive-aggressiveness. Think about it; no one likes to drink alone. Why would they want to gorge alone? They don't. So they bring in a shmorgasbord of artery clogging goodies to drag the rest of us down with them. I doubt their actions are intentional, but I think my thesis is compelling.

The piéce de resistance, though, is the parade of carb-addicted co-workers who saunter up to the food, oh, every five minutes, as though on every pass they're surprised to find it there. And trust me when I say most of those who partake could stand to lose a few pounds -- like about 30. We all know it's bad, but we just keep coming back like crack-whores strung out on Krispy Kremes.

For we who are trying to lose a few pounds (yes, like 30) this is a difficult dilemma. But while it may be difficult to visualize what we want to look like after we lose weight, it is easy to visualize what we could look like if we keep fressing on all the snacks. The evidence is walking all over the office: stomachs hanging over belts, derrièrs wide enough for two, and--as they say--more chins than a Chinese phone book.

Faced with such a choice--say, the chance to look more like a young and hot Marlon Brando, or an old and bloated one--I'll take a 50s Brando every time.

Now if I could only remind myself of that fact each time I walk past a plate of brownies....